Knight
Starknights - A Whole New Universe Of Crap! Today we take another dive into the horrible things you can find that are classified as Shareware. After the 100% luck-based game of Turbo Cars and the spyware-infested family-fun craptravaganza of Batter Up Cat, I was wary this time. I decided to go for something that might not have been made by a couple of morbidly obese Hello Kitty fans in a basement somewhere - this actually appears to have had some effect put into it.
It's therefore a shame I'd still rather watch Time Bandits than play this.
This is an outer space RPG, a genre perfected by Freelancer. There is simply no point in attempting to compete with that game, but yet they do. This game lacks 3D graphics, characters with any worth and any originality.
The basic plot is that there are nice guys called Starknights and bad guys called Darkknights. There we go. You can play as anyone of these useless fools who actually gain no advantages over different races - they just have a slightly different collection of pixels that make up your character.
But the originality doesn't stop at good-guys-and-bad-guys-who-were-once-good! No, take a look at the spaceships you can buy. Point in case : that thing on the right.
IMPORTANT : It is not a Death Star. It's a Dark Moon. There's an important difference. It's good that after one of the largest grossing film franchises of all time, no-one feels the slightest urge to cash-in on the ideas that George Lucas probably didn't actually come up with. A Dark Moon you say? It might not actually result in death, merely power shortages.
As you proceed through the game you collect all different kinds of useless crap which doesn't actually appear to do anything. This ranges from "Processed Salmon" to "Paperclips", the latter of which probably has something to do with the Health Index of your starfighters. If they don't like you as a leader, they all explode and turn into aliens or something.
In my short time playing this before I removed my eyes with a power drill, I was unable to work out how - in the duel option - you actually won. It claimed I gained Credits at the end (another nice original sci-fi touch I thought) but I didn't seem to. In addition, my Darkknight character didn't have a victory dance, which sucked.
Last but not least, I was amused to find a site called Gamestats. It rates all games from 100 to 0, I think based on both how good they are and how popular they are. Starknights has a lovely rating of 0. As far as I understand the FAQ on this site, it means no-one likes Starknights, no-one plays it, and no-one wants to play it. Good stuff.
----
LAN IN 2 DAYS!!!!!!!!
It's therefore a shame I'd still rather watch Time Bandits than play this.
This is an outer space RPG, a genre perfected by Freelancer. There is simply no point in attempting to compete with that game, but yet they do. This game lacks 3D graphics, characters with any worth and any originality.
The basic plot is that there are nice guys called Starknights and bad guys called Darkknights. There we go. You can play as anyone of these useless fools who actually gain no advantages over different races - they just have a slightly different collection of pixels that make up your character.
But the originality doesn't stop at good-guys-and-bad-guys-who-were-once-good! No, take a look at the spaceships you can buy. Point in case : that thing on the right.
IMPORTANT : It is not a Death Star. It's a Dark Moon. There's an important difference. It's good that after one of the largest grossing film franchises of all time, no-one feels the slightest urge to cash-in on the ideas that George Lucas probably didn't actually come up with. A Dark Moon you say? It might not actually result in death, merely power shortages.
As you proceed through the game you collect all different kinds of useless crap which doesn't actually appear to do anything. This ranges from "Processed Salmon" to "Paperclips", the latter of which probably has something to do with the Health Index of your starfighters. If they don't like you as a leader, they all explode and turn into aliens or something.
In my short time playing this before I removed my eyes with a power drill, I was unable to work out how - in the duel option - you actually won. It claimed I gained Credits at the end (another nice original sci-fi touch I thought) but I didn't seem to. In addition, my Darkknight character didn't have a victory dance, which sucked.
Last but not least, I was amused to find a site called Gamestats. It rates all games from 100 to 0, I think based on both how good they are and how popular they are. Starknights has a lovely rating of 0. As far as I understand the FAQ on this site, it means no-one likes Starknights, no-one plays it, and no-one wants to play it. Good stuff.
----
LAN IN 2 DAYS!!!!!!!!
posted by Mkzrj at 8:29 pm
5 Comments:
HaLAN, HaLAN, HaLAN *kick*
HaLAN, HaLAN, HaLAN *kick*
HaLAN, HaLAN, HaLAN *kick*
"ajfjoooi!" - I just sneezed
Lmao.... funny stuff, "In my short time playing this before I removed my eyes with a power drill",
"Starknights has a lovely rating of 0. It means no-one likes Starknights, no-one plays it, and no-one wants to play it"
And these Starknights...do they have swords of light? Sabres even? In blue, green or purple?
And these Darkknights...do they also have these "light-sabres" but in red?
Is there any hope at all? Is there an Empire? Does it strike back? Is there a return of the Starknights?
"muhbm"
Or is it YOUR bm?
roflol @ rip off game with rating of 0!!
"elqiul" : n. A mexican villain currently on the US 100 top wanted with a bounty of $100,000. Perhaps.
Hehe - HaLAN!
"xxzftvmw"...I'm not even gonna guess....
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