David
As someone said in a book recently but I can't remember which book it was - "Is there no end to human folly?"
If your name is David Blaine and you had a devoted base of people who hate you for being the stupid attention-seeking pratt you are, the answer is no.
David Blaine's latest foray into the world of the clinically fuckwitted involves him strapping his stupid body into a gyroscope and seeing what happens. You know what's going to happen David? I've got £10 riding on you feeling sick and vomiting all over the people of New York you stupid waste of space, food and oxygen. The nutrition spent on him would be better spent on training an army of tiny, tiny gnats to respond to certain kinds of food. No reason, just for the sake of it. That's how worthless David Blaine is.
Thus, I have devised a short list of things I think David Blaine should turn his stupid eyes on once he's finished vomiting over the Big Apple.
* Die.
* Crawl into a hole and die.
* Die in public.
* Die in private.
* Try to set the world record for time spent on fire.
* Try to set the world record for dying quickly while on fire.
* Staple his face to a train.
* Set the world record for train-to-face staples (43 to beat).
* Try to catch a falling meteor in his mouth.
I also feel David Blaine has a chance to deliver some really good products into the consumer-filled marketplace we currently live. One such item would be entitled "4⁄3 π r3 of asshole" which is effectively a small paperweight containing a model of David Blaine. Modelled on his original pointless stunt in some other city I don't care to remember, every day you can use him to weigh down a few sheets of A4 paper, a far more worthwhile task that these inane things the real David Blaine gets up to.
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One note :
ARGH! ARGH ARGH ARGH! FREAKING POWERCUTS! And every time the power goes out, house alarms start outside and annoy me even more. ARGH.
If your name is David Blaine and you had a devoted base of people who hate you for being the stupid attention-seeking pratt you are, the answer is no.
David Blaine's latest foray into the world of the clinically fuckwitted involves him strapping his stupid body into a gyroscope and seeing what happens. You know what's going to happen David? I've got £10 riding on you feeling sick and vomiting all over the people of New York you stupid waste of space, food and oxygen. The nutrition spent on him would be better spent on training an army of tiny, tiny gnats to respond to certain kinds of food. No reason, just for the sake of it. That's how worthless David Blaine is.
Thus, I have devised a short list of things I think David Blaine should turn his stupid eyes on once he's finished vomiting over the Big Apple.
* Die.
* Crawl into a hole and die.
* Die in public.
* Die in private.
* Try to set the world record for time spent on fire.
* Try to set the world record for dying quickly while on fire.
* Staple his face to a train.
* Set the world record for train-to-face staples (43 to beat).
* Try to catch a falling meteor in his mouth.
I also feel David Blaine has a chance to deliver some really good products into the consumer-filled marketplace we currently live. One such item would be entitled "4⁄3 π r3 of asshole" which is effectively a small paperweight containing a model of David Blaine. Modelled on his original pointless stunt in some other city I don't care to remember, every day you can use him to weigh down a few sheets of A4 paper, a far more worthwhile task that these inane things the real David Blaine gets up to.
----
One note :
ARGH! ARGH ARGH ARGH! FREAKING POWERCUTS! And every time the power goes out, house alarms start outside and annoy me even more. ARGH.
posted by Mkzrj at 10:04 pm
4 Comments:
Lol ;)
David Blaine is such a strange man, trying to forge some kind of career in doing stupid things. I liked the way that his stunts in America get cheered or supported somewhat, but when he did the thing on London Bridge people just threw food at his box.
"cwqyio"
How about - "How long can I survive, sealed in this permanently sealed box with no way out, food or water, a limited supply of air (the sealed box) and an irate seal."
I'll say - 20 minutes tops!
"zxcvm"
But before all of those, he should attempt to break the world record for:
1. Number of fat-man's farts to the face.
2. Number of completely pointless acts (oh wait, he's done that.)
3. Days of Water Torture endured.
It's such a shame to see him do all these non-magic, utterly retarded and pointless things though, because his street magic is actually rather tasty.
"eaacfui" (pronounced "EA-Ak-Fooey)
EA's take on Chop-Suey, a new game coming to Wii. Use the motion sensor to steer your piece of EA-Ak-Fooey away from evil person's mouth.
Also available on Nintendo DShit (I mean, DS). Use the pointless and shitty touch screen to touch small hentai children!
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