Pluto

Scientists have gone too far this time. First they split the atom, then they invented the atom bomb, then they forecast environmental doom and gloom, but this is the last straw with these people. Pluto has lost its status as a planet.
We've seen it before, the powers-that-be taking a well-earned privilege away. James Bond losing his licence to kill. That guy from the Doom movie losing his ears. And now this! It's an outrage.
But this means more than just hurting the little people, even if the little people are a 2,360km radius planetoid. School textbooks will have to be re-written down, and it feels like the entire solar system has changed. We can't have eight planets! What kind of a crappy number is eight? With nine, you knew where you stood. It was one off double digits, it was an edgy number, a number that felt like it was going places. But eight...
Pluto has lost its status because it has a crazy elliptical orbit which intersects Neptune's orbit, while all other planets do not. The potential "new planets" of Ceres, Charon and UB313 (a catchy name, sure to go places) join Pluto as a new "dwarf planet". I sense discrimation.
Thus :

Campaign for the Re-Acceptance of Pluto.

Pluto should be made a planet again, because it quite clearly is. One dismissal was that Pluto is smaller than some of the moons in the Solar System, specifically those of Jupiter and Saturn. But they are moons, people. They orbit another planet, and "it must be in orbit around the Sun" is the primary consideration. Therefore the size is irrelevant. It also takes on a "nearly round shape" which is the second consideration. It only loses out because of its orbit.
So I propose a radical plan to force those bastards to make Pluto a planet once more. We must send out a whole squadron of carefully programmed satellites, each with a nuclear bomb of sufficient magnitude to move Pluto's orbit. Once they are all positioned, a message will be sent to detonate them in the correct order and make Pluto follow the same orbit as all other planets. Sure, it would cost $Lots, but it's budget better spent than on other certain things. Such as killing people, for one.

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After a bit of retail therapy today when I spent around £100, we will soon have reviews of Prey, Civ IV and Oblivion. Add on the new cartoon, the Story of WTF, and various other things - future updates are looking good.