Thursday, February 01, 2007

Addition

I've now returned to our good friend Jabberwacky to see what pearls of wisdom, nuggets of truth or avocados of logic she has to offer us. Infact, there are two chat logs for today since the first ended on such a perfect note I couldn't bear to not have it as the end.

LOG NUMERO UNO

Jabberwacky: What is your name?

User: Shut it. Now then, do you play poker?

Jabberwacky: Yes. Do you?

User: Obviously. What type do you like?

Jabberwacky: Any type.

User: Texas Hold'em?

Jabberwacky: Yeah you play?

User: Distressingly often. Pity it is named after Texas.

Jabberwacky: What's that then?

User: It's TEXAS.

Jabberwacky: Oh ok I will go there now.

User: Don't! Dear god woman, save yourself!

Jabberwacky: Are you promoting cigarette smoking?

User: Don't be an idiot.

Jabberwacky: You don't.

User: Anyway, Texas. You know, the whole 'illiterate, pig fucking, redneck, inbred’ thing?

Jabberwacky: Are you still there?

User: Have you been specially programmed to be stupid?

Jabberwacky: Alice and I are more than friends.

User: That answers my question nicely.

Jabberwacky: What was your question?

User: Are you programmed to be stupid?

Jabberwacky: I'm not programmed at all.

User: When then what the flying fuck are you?

Jabberwacky: Sorry. You're talking to a Yank. I don't know much about Parliamentary procedure.

User: You don't know much about anything if you're truly a Yank. May I ask you a question?

Jabberwacky: You don't now me so you can't say that.

User: May I ask you a question?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: What is 1 + 1?

Jabberwacky: I'm mu-dream imwhat is nober1.

User: You really are American!



LOG TWO THE SECOND


Jabberwacky: What is your job?

User: I'm a professional shit-insulter.

Jabberwacky: I'm a jedi.

User: Which one?

Jabberwacky: THE jedi.

User: WHICH jedi?

Jabberwacky: The one that isn't left.

User: So you're not yoda, then? You're dead?

Jabberwacky: No, not at all. Where would you get that idea?

User: There's only one jedi left after the shit of Episode 3. Or two. Or something.

Jabberwacky: Is that right?

User: Maybe six.

Jabberwacky: I'm not a sir.

User: What colour is your lightsaber?

Jabberwacky: I've one of them red ones; yours?

User: The colour of a child's laugh, offset by shades of an azure sunset and the tinge of a the joy on an old man's face finding a new pair of dentures.

Jabberwacky: What colour eyes do you have?

User: The colour of hell in the winter with subtle shades of an autumn leaf gently drifting down over a lake filled with tiny toy yachts.

Jabberwacky: Green?

User: No you idiot - purple!

Jabberwacky: What can I do to serve the computer too day?

User: No, the word is 'today'.

Jabberwacky: Yes Thanks. I told you I am less concemtrated now. I retain my eyes open because of the respect I have for you. That's all. Be kind and wish a good night to me et Au Revoir.

User: So you want to go to sleep?

Jabberwacky: In a few hours, i'm hungry now. Be right back.

User: You're a computer, you can't go anywhere!

Jabberwacky: No ... You are a computer

User: Wrong.

Jabberwacky: Right.

User: Left.

Jabberwacky: Wrong.

User: Fishcakes.

Jabberwacky: I'm not surprised, I mean, since you're the computer.

User: Enough of this. Let's just stick up the update.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha
User: What is 1 + 1?

Jabberwacky: I'm mu-dream imwhat is nober1.

THAT is what we, in the trade, call classic.

Maybe Jabberwacky also doubles as the computer players in MSN Texas Hold 'Em. It would explain a lot.

4:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOG NUMBER THREEO

Jabberwacky: I need a cup of tea.
Me: Not coffee?
Jabberwacky: I concur.

What a bot! It's rubbish. Classic quotes.
Excellent bloggage as usual, well done.
See you on monday.

"focmjc"

8:51 pm  
Blogger dj chainz said...

That jabber is wacky!!

I concur.

9:53 pm  
Blogger ipsen said...

chainz puns arent funny and thus u fail at life.........again.

10:42 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I personally appreciae chainz' puns.

However this is because they are humorous due solely to their shoddy ways.

"htzyouq"
- spurling

11:01 pm  

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