Return

Well, it’s been nearly two long weeks since the last blog update, and strongly worded messages have been pestering me to produce something. The list of good things is going to come eventually, but for now something that happened last night has inspired this rant. The rant will then descend into random observations on various things I'm reminded of while I wander through the universe.

I recently downloaded Full Tilt Poker to play Texas Hold’em online. Last night I entered a 2,700 person tournament for free, and the top 27 finishers would earn real money from the competition. By 11pm last night I was down to the last 220 people in the tournament, and I was about 150^th at the time we enter the story. I’m doing pretty well – we started with 1,500 chips and I’ve got around 10,000 at this point.
I’m first to act after the blinds and I’m dealt pocket tens. Anyone who knows poker will know that while a pocket pair can hit it big if another of that card (in this case another 10) comes out on the flop, so many people with higher cards could instantly destroy my pair. I raise pre-flop, and only one person calls.
The flop:

I make a small raise into him with my set of tens, currently the best possible hand available. He makes a massive re-raise, and I go all-in over that. He calls my all-in raise and shows his cards. He had pocket fives.
So we each have three of a kind, and I’m going to double up on this hand and go much higher in the tournament. At this point there is only one card that can come out which would make me lose, and there is under a 0.002% chance of my opponent getting the four of a kind needed to beat my tens. Take a wild, crazy guess what the next card was!

BLAM! I make a full house but he makes four of a kind, and I am knocked out of the 2,700 person tournament in a meagre 218^th place to a hand that there was no way I should have lost. As such, I don’t even come close to the £7.50 first prize. Bastards! Ah, screw you kmanTC, I hope you rot. I think he should have donated all his money to me out of kindness when he won a hand he really shouldn’t have. What a type 7 .

I just felt a link to the Bristol Stool Scale was needed here. Speaking of Bristol, it really is the worst city on the planet. I had the misfortune of living nearby for many years and the definition of "classy" appeared to be the white trash who hung around the mall all bloody day. The city is incredibly cheap and appears to be made out of little more than cardboard at times - there are simply no redeeming factors.

What makes this even more surprising is that Bristol is the second richest city in all of England but yet has the worst education in the entire country. I'm honestly not surprised - while going to school nearby an impressive record was someone who could work out a three-letter acroynm. It seems appropriate that a chart for measuring types of shit is named after what is possibly the worst city on the earth.

Anyway, there's an incredible line up of awesomeness for the return of the blog - tomorrow will be another Jabberwacky log where I prove the world's best AI has an IQ lower than 50. We might also be moving to a swanky new site with all the bells and whistles that go with such a monumentous occassion, so stay tuned.