Eureka

Now that I've realised I am without a doubt the most brilliant person on this Earth, I've decided to turn my attention away from the pitiful persuits of Quantum Mechanics and Hyperspatial Engineering to concentrate on something really important - wondering about the 4th dimension. Hah, you thought I was going to say something stupid like "1,001 uses for Yams" didn't you?
Incorrect.

The fourth dimensions was originally discovered in the 1960s by someone creating an awful sci-fi film of some sort where the women all had flared shoulders and the men wore shimmering velvet nonsense. It was then lost again when someone misplaced the appropriate documents during a flight - they were mailed to a small village in the Congo while someone else's holiday photos were sent to the laboratory.
Nevertheless, the 4th dimension has now been rediscovered and research is proceeding as swiftly as ever. Some fascinating facts have been unearthed :

• The 4th dimension - whatever the hell it is - appears to be endless. This means that anything put in has zero chance of coming back out and ever being visible in public life again. An enquiry is currently being conducted by the government into how soon Catherine Tate can be transferred.
  
• The 4th dimension is full of quantum. It's literally packed to the gills with the bloody stuff and we're unsure what to do with it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated - we're currently thinking about using it to transport the entire world to a universe where Ruth Kelly doesn't look like a man. Edited on 13/12/06 : No such universe exists.
  
• The 4th dimension has a very strange effect on our world whereby any sentence about the 4th dimension must begin with the words "the 4th dimension."
• The 4th dimension is considered by many to be time. This seems impossible because we cannot move faster than the speed of light and so we cannot slow time down any noticeable amount. However, unless those living in the 4th dimension can only go forwards (making parking very difficulty indeed) they must be able to go backwards. This means that tachyons must be involved, or perhaps it's just solved with a big jar of quantum.
  

Coming tomorrow : 1,001 uses for Yams.