Preparation

There a lot of forums on this crazy Internet we live on, and the vast majority of them I hate. Because of this, I've decided to explore a group who really annoy me (along with everyone else) - Psychics.

I'm currently working on a little website to give me a basis to debate my incredible psychic-ness upon Internet forums such as "Paranormal Forums" and "TPG - The Internet's Best Paranormal Forum". The best paranormal forum you say? That's quite an honour, easily the equal of winning a projectile shitting contest or something. Anyway, these forums are littered with idiots persuading other idiots or liars to contact their dead relatives who might have a final message with them. I have a sneaking suspicion most of these "final messages" are going to be "Lying Bastard #43 is a great medium - donate to his Paypal account!"

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the face of someone who is either clinically insane, an idiot, a liar or someone who knows how to get money out of gullible fools.

This man was just the first unlucky soul who appeared when I googled "lying money-grabbing bastard" so he's the one who's going to be mocked today.

"So, about me...Yes, I talk to the dead!...A weird existence but it's true!!!"

Incorrect. You do not infact talk to the dead, because that is impossible on account of them being dead. The dead are rarely the most talkative of folk, because they're dead. The cannot even communicate with you, because they are dead. See where this is going?

This guy even seems to describe what he does in this strange manner, as if asking us to guess who he is talking about. I think he must be talking about himself.

I personally find any 'psychic' that lies to people for money is a disgrace both to this wonderful profession and to the spirit world. People like that only feed the fires of sceptiscism and make a mockery of human kindness.. Someday they will have to face their demons though and I believe they'll realise that to lie about someone's departed loved ones is a very serious matter.

Yeah, he must be talking about himself.

Once I get the site up and running, I'm going to have a few customer statements from satisfied people, such as:

"AstroX said that I might have an accident in the future involving 3 canoes, 2 cats and half a railroad track. After paying him to take action on my behalf, I haven't had the accident. Disaster was averted, so thankyou AstroX!"

"AstroX offered me a rock which would protect me from harm. I bought it for a mere £100 and I'm still alive. Thanks AstroX!"

Thus far I've got 4 posts from one particular forum I will surely be banned from soon, including a reply from someone who actually thought my post was serious. This was a post about stopping ghosts attacking you and involved the most absurd solution I could think of at the time. Everyone involved in psychic phenomena is foolish except for those right at the top, like L Ron Hubbard - they realised people were inherently thick as shit and decided to make a quick buck.

I'll keep you posted...