Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Shizzle

Today we have, in my first official guest entry (implying there has been an unofficial one. If anyone guesses which one it is, I will design a large and very shiny medal for you - in Paint, naturally - which will be posted just for you in a future entry), we have a guide. A guide through some of the unintelligible nonsense that often pours out of the mouths of society's unwanted and primative relatives, as provided by Angus Wellington on his tour of the USA's greatest cities and their streets for his latest book - "Pimpin' da streets o' da Hood - a mofo's guide," a follow up to "Delving into the mating habits of Redneck States - an insider's view".
So now, we will hand over to the man himself.


Hello my internet companions! It's Angus Wellington here! Weren't you just dying for me to come back? No? WELL SCREW YOU.

As you may have come to expect, I've stolen this site using my proxies and clients and htmls and stuff to advertise my latest incredible book, avaliable from Amazon.com for a low low price! Here are some choice extracts from my latest literary orgasm into the mind of the rapper :

Fo' So' - Seemingly used in an affirmative manner.

Ma Hommies - Not sure. Possibly implying all chavs are homosexual.

Posse - Perhaps derived from desire to see "pussy" amongst sexually deprived rappers.

Motha Fucka - Used as an insult, bizarre as majority have never engaged in an act of sexual intercourse with a parent. Apparently complimentary where rednecks are involved.

Cap yo' ass - Our investigator had no desire to find out the dirty secrets behind this, as such we have no conclusive information. An educated guess would imply some kind of bowler hat for each cheek.

Shizzouts - Again, no confirmation, but we assume it has something to do with mass bowel movements.

Ya dig - Although it seems to be used to ask for confirmation of understanding, literal translation would suggest that these people like to ask each other about holes. We assume this is for their illegal "shiznit".


Shiznit - Possibly the opposite of shizzouts, which seems horrible and wrong. Seems to be used for just about anything at some point or another eg. "This shiznit is da motha fucka of da posse", "Ma shiznit is nit capping da musik, da rapper nigga."

Mah crizzib - Seems to be used in reference to accomodation. Possibly associated to word "crib", maybe implying they still sleep in cots, or maybe sleep with cattle.

Ta hizzle ta fizzay me fo` thizzay - No real meaning. Complete load of pointless shit.

Fo Shizzle ma nizzle bizzle - ???

Yo sizzay ass hustla nigga - W.T.F

Gizzle nigga - Um.

Nigga nigga - Shurg

G-to-tha-izzang - I'm giving up now.


=== DISCLAIMER ===
If anyone who uses this kind of language has read this entry and feels in anyway offended by it, I am quite shocked that someone of your intelligence actually managed to read this. Please don't complain though, as the comments page could do without the tripe you would no doubt post on it. Instead, go "shoot some hoops" or whatever else you do to pass your time. Or preferably, read a dictionary - right here! It's what I did and its help make me a phenomenal literary success. So fuck off morons, you mofoing shiznit pimps. And while I'm on the subject, rap is complete shit.
But if you really, REALLY must complain because I am insulting your bling or whatever rubbish you wear, check my profile for an email address...

----

Thanks to Tom for a good 90% of this blog entry while I'm doing my pointless crappy DT.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mine?

"arcgon" - between Neon and Argon.

10:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fan
tas
tic!

+ "ufefl"

10:23 pm  
Blogger dj chainz said...

Very nice post there - 'gangsta' talk is just very over the top and a world away from real hip-hop talk. This post could also have mentioned gizoogle... XD

10:24 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an interesting forray into the world of gangsta rap.

Hurrah for Angus Wellington!

10:25 pm  
Blogger Mkzrj said...

To explain, this is the second my friend Tom has written. In the event of further guest entries, past efforts will also be mentioned :)

10:26 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fo shizzle ma nizzle

Um no, good entry hehe! :D

10:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Note that there are no plans for endorsement deals with the OED. The continual references to it are purely coincidental *shifty eyes*.

11:24 pm  

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