Council
Illuminati Meeting Minutes
6th September, 2006
Society Council Meeting
Members Present :
President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour
Lord Esquire the Renowed Librarian of the Lord
Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny
Councillor Grand Exhalted Saviour Protector
Councillor Guardian of the Messiah Descendents
Work Experience guy from nearby school
New Business :
The Windows
Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny expressed the opinion that there weren't enough stained-glass windows in the Holy Headquarters of Holydom. He was reminded by Councillor Guardian of the Messiah Descendents that their budget barely covered strange albino men in cloaks who menaced University professors, let alone expensive furnishings. Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny was then strangely quiet for the remainder of the proceedings as so often happens when someone puts him down.
Campaign
Lord Esquire the Renowed Librarian of the Lord asked how the current leaflet campaign was going. Councillor Grand Exhalted Saviour Protector informed him that they currently had a 62% rate of success when trying to deliver their "Christ's descendants are not among us today! Honestly!" leaflets. Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny informed the rest of the Holy Gathering that the printing press wanted to charge them more now because people were complaining about it being a blight on their community. President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour assured the other members he would shortly smite the unbelievers.
Blasphemy
Work Experience guy from nearby school raised the crudely-worded question of "what the bloody hell is going on here?". He was promptly sacrificed to the Holy Overseer of the Proceedings, President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour. For he is Holy.
Traps
President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour informed his Holy brethren about the new traps in the Holy Headquarters. Funding for the Holy automatic intruder crucifixion system was approved by the Holy Treasurer of the Holy Lord's Holy Funds and several swinging maces had also been put in place. Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny complained briefly at this point, explaining that no-one had told him about the new traps and he'd cut his arm. To ensure the Vampires of Atheism did not attack him to leech off his pure blood, President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour gave him a small vial of holy water.
Old Business :
Public Image
At the previous Illuminati Council meeting, Lord Esquire the Renowed Librarian of the Lord had suggested that they try to improve their image with the public. It seemed that most people thought the Illuminati were scruffy, paedophilic sorts like many religious clergymen. And while many of our fellow Holy Brethren have dabbled in such things, it was not good for the public image. Councillor Grand Exhalted Saviour Protector added that he was trying to enlist the service of one "50 Cent" to improve our image.
6th September, 2006
Society Council Meeting
Members Present :
President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour
Lord Esquire the Renowed Librarian of the Lord
Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny
Councillor Grand Exhalted Saviour Protector
Councillor Guardian of the Messiah Descendents
Work Experience guy from nearby school
New Business :
The Windows
Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny expressed the opinion that there weren't enough stained-glass windows in the Holy Headquarters of Holydom. He was reminded by Councillor Guardian of the Messiah Descendents that their budget barely covered strange albino men in cloaks who menaced University professors, let alone expensive furnishings. Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny was then strangely quiet for the remainder of the proceedings as so often happens when someone puts him down.
Campaign
Lord Esquire the Renowed Librarian of the Lord asked how the current leaflet campaign was going. Councillor Grand Exhalted Saviour Protector informed him that they currently had a 62% rate of success when trying to deliver their "Christ's descendants are not among us today! Honestly!" leaflets. Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny informed the rest of the Holy Gathering that the printing press wanted to charge them more now because people were complaining about it being a blight on their community. President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour assured the other members he would shortly smite the unbelievers.
Blasphemy
Work Experience guy from nearby school raised the crudely-worded question of "what the bloody hell is going on here?". He was promptly sacrificed to the Holy Overseer of the Proceedings, President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour. For he is Holy.
Traps
President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour informed his Holy brethren about the new traps in the Holy Headquarters. Funding for the Holy automatic intruder crucifixion system was approved by the Holy Treasurer of the Holy Lord's Holy Funds and several swinging maces had also been put in place. Councillor Chief Devine Hero Worshipper of Destiny complained briefly at this point, explaining that no-one had told him about the new traps and he'd cut his arm. To ensure the Vampires of Atheism did not attack him to leech off his pure blood, President Master of the Command of the Holy Saviour gave him a small vial of holy water.
Old Business :
Public Image
At the previous Illuminati Council meeting, Lord Esquire the Renowed Librarian of the Lord had suggested that they try to improve their image with the public. It seemed that most people thought the Illuminati were scruffy, paedophilic sorts like many religious clergymen. And while many of our fellow Holy Brethren have dabbled in such things, it was not good for the public image. Councillor Grand Exhalted Saviour Protector added that he was trying to enlist the service of one "50 Cent" to improve our image.
posted by Mkzrj at 4:26 pm
3 Comments:
Illuminati sounds a lot like "Los Illuminados" of Resi 4 fame. Therefore I think that the Illuminati are secretly trying to take over the world by using weirdo parasites.
But now we know their secret, we can stop them.
This post hurt my head, mainly due to the large amount of text in it, whilst trying to play the test drive demo at the time time.
Nevertheless, still a good one, good old work experiance guy with the interesting questions, sad he had to be sacrificed though :(
Illllllumminatttttiii!
I don't know. Are you sure it was a good idea to reveal some of the illuminati's deepest and darkest secrets to the world?
Oh well. If they assassinate me, dont say I didn't warn you. Even though I didn't.
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