Pokemon
Pokemon is possibly the worst thing to come out of Japan except that insatiable hoard of bizarre porn movies that seemed to have coated the earth in a fine film of perversion. But Pokemon - apart from the repeated frames to show moment, the fact that everyone has arrows for eyes whenever anything of any consequence happens and the whole "10,000 exciting species to learn about" thing, it bugs me. I'm sure it bugs most people and that is no doubt why millions of "Kill Jigglypuff" etc games have arrived. What the hell kind of name is Jigglypuff anyway? It conjours up disturbing images I'm not going to go into any further.
Digimon, for some strange reason, I find less annoying. Even though that has "Mega Rex Skeletron combines Ultra Turbo Killatron 6000" and all that stuff, it's not as bad. Also, at every possible turn the strongest-monster-possible turns into the even-stronger-monster because it got a virtual memory upgrade or something. These are digital monsters after all.
Anyway. Back to Pokemon. There doesn't seem to be any plot other than some random creatures need to be captured and enslaved, and random people to be defeated.
What kind of a sick world fights animals against each other? Several people have been gorged during these stupid bullfights in Spain and cockfighting etc is outlawed everywhere, but this isn't much better. So much for animal rights, let's equip them with Lightning +4 or whatever and let them kill each other.
And the actual creatures. I mean, I seriously doubt that evolution on any planet or bizarre offshoot of reality has produced something that looks like a heavy blue turd with a plant on its back. Firstly, because we currently believe such a creature to be biologically impossible, and secondly before it looks damned stupid. People are more likely to laugh than run away when it powers up for Gas Attack +8.
Finally, show me a single creature in the animal kingdom that levels up and evolves unless you hammer the B button.
Digimon, for some strange reason, I find less annoying. Even though that has "Mega Rex Skeletron combines Ultra Turbo Killatron 6000" and all that stuff, it's not as bad. Also, at every possible turn the strongest-monster-possible turns into the even-stronger-monster because it got a virtual memory upgrade or something. These are digital monsters after all.
Anyway. Back to Pokemon. There doesn't seem to be any plot other than some random creatures need to be captured and enslaved, and random people to be defeated.
What kind of a sick world fights animals against each other? Several people have been gorged during these stupid bullfights in Spain and cockfighting etc is outlawed everywhere, but this isn't much better. So much for animal rights, let's equip them with Lightning +4 or whatever and let them kill each other.
And the actual creatures. I mean, I seriously doubt that evolution on any planet or bizarre offshoot of reality has produced something that looks like a heavy blue turd with a plant on its back. Firstly, because we currently believe such a creature to be biologically impossible, and secondly before it looks damned stupid. People are more likely to laugh than run away when it powers up for Gas Attack +8.
Finally, show me a single creature in the animal kingdom that levels up and evolves unless you hammer the B button.
"Yay! Bestiality +6!"
posted by Mkzrj at 8:48 pm
5 Comments:
I believe you mean to spell it pokémon. And it is annoying but don't have you pleasant childish memories of the game?
Obviously not.
I feel that can be quickly explained when you consider I never had the game.
The games weren't actually that bad. True, the actual premise wasn't the best, but in terms of actual gameplay they were fine.
Also, I fear you've slightly confused reality and fiction here. Pokemon being fictional, and a game/ cartoon, it doesn't have to be a perfect working model of evolutionary development.
And yes, their names are weird.
Oh, and I've seen a Hippo level up before *shifty eyes*
Also, in the name of non-violence, the pokemon (I don't know how to do accents)do not die, instead they are only knocked unconcious. They can be revived later.
Pokemon as a game was actually quite enjoyable. However, it was far too easy as by the time you fought anyone, you already had far better pokemon to kill (I mean, knock out) the opponent.
And the people said stupid things like:
"I like shorts. Do you like shorts? You're not wearing shorts! You must die! (Engage fight here)"
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