Engine
Today I managed to save the world's fuel crisis.
My logic is very difficult to follow however, and I attempted to use a visual medium to convey my brilliant plans. Unfortunately, it was so complex that Paint overloaded and has subsequently uninstalled itself from my computer. Thus, I shall now relate to you my logic via a "Textual Interactive Communication System", or Tics. However, I would warn you to consult a doctor if your eyes begin to melt from the sheer volume of brilliance.
1) When toast is buttered, it is very loud. The means (if anything we've been taught in science is right) that the toast is losing some energy as sound.
2) Therefore, we can create what I call the "Perpetual Toast Engine." I can see in a few years everything being powered by this, and oil companies going out of business.
3) Take an ordinary piece, and butter it. But keep buttering it, and buttering it, and buttering it. Eventually, so much energy will have been lost from the loud noise it makes that toast will have what I call a "Negative Energy Index Something Somethingy".
4) Now create the rest of the parts of a normal engine, like the exhaust pipe and stuff.
5) Insert the "NEISS" toast into the engine and connect some wires to it. Then start the engine. The toast will now act as a "Negative Energy Confluxication Device" and draw energy into it from the surroundings. However - and this is the clever part - because the engine instantly draws on the energy entering the toast, it will keep drawing in more energy from the surroundings. Thus, a "Perputual Loop System" is created, supplying the engine with infinite energy from nothing more than the surroundings.
I am free at weekends to collect my Nobel Prize.
However, while thinking ahead, I have realised a few potential problems. If we used this for everything, then eventually we would run out of energy. This would result in the entire planet being turned into a giant freezer, which - while useful for food storage - but hinder other vital things, such as living.
Here is an artist's impression.
This is the dawning of a new age! Also, the blog is soon going to have a big change in the next few days.
My logic is very difficult to follow however, and I attempted to use a visual medium to convey my brilliant plans. Unfortunately, it was so complex that Paint overloaded and has subsequently uninstalled itself from my computer. Thus, I shall now relate to you my logic via a "Textual Interactive Communication System", or Tics. However, I would warn you to consult a doctor if your eyes begin to melt from the sheer volume of brilliance.
1) When toast is buttered, it is very loud. The means (if anything we've been taught in science is right) that the toast is losing some energy as sound.
2) Therefore, we can create what I call the "Perpetual Toast Engine." I can see in a few years everything being powered by this, and oil companies going out of business.
3) Take an ordinary piece, and butter it. But keep buttering it, and buttering it, and buttering it. Eventually, so much energy will have been lost from the loud noise it makes that toast will have what I call a "Negative Energy Index Something Somethingy".
4) Now create the rest of the parts of a normal engine, like the exhaust pipe and stuff.
5) Insert the "NEISS" toast into the engine and connect some wires to it. Then start the engine. The toast will now act as a "Negative Energy Confluxication Device" and draw energy into it from the surroundings. However - and this is the clever part - because the engine instantly draws on the energy entering the toast, it will keep drawing in more energy from the surroundings. Thus, a "Perputual Loop System" is created, supplying the engine with infinite energy from nothing more than the surroundings.
I am free at weekends to collect my Nobel Prize.
However, while thinking ahead, I have realised a few potential problems. If we used this for everything, then eventually we would run out of energy. This would result in the entire planet being turned into a giant freezer, which - while useful for food storage - but hinder other vital things, such as living.
Here is an artist's impression.
This is the dawning of a new age! Also, the blog is soon going to have a big change in the next few days.
posted by Mkzrj at 3:03 pm
4 Comments:
Ah the world would not freeze; the engine's energy output to the wheels is eventually all converted into heat due to motion and friction etc.
Perhaps this flaw in your logic proves you are not quite the scientist you would have the World believe and that this idea is STOLEN ! ¬_¬
Ah HA! So my idea is perfect after all!
And how dare you acuse me of such a thing :o
I think you fail to realise that he also creates the frictionless joint, meaning no energy is lost as heat or sound. But he considered this so elementary he didn't even bother mentioning it.
Well while we develop that, why doesn't everyone stop whinging about nuclear energy.
It's the only real alternative. And the way the Bush and Blair are going there won't be time for a disaster at the nuclear plant, as the world will have already been destroyed., probably because Bush goes "Oooh a shiny red button!".
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