Circus
Left on our windscreen a few days ago was a corny flyer for "Uncle Sam's American Circus".
Once I'd cleaned all the involuntary puke off it, I managed to give it a proper look. Some wonderfully endeering yankee with a stars-and-stripes hat and bow tie, along with the clown make-up grinned at you from the front. Off to one side they modestly declared they were "The Greatest Circus on Earth TM"
How typically American. They've got to be the best at everything otherwise that thing just isn't worth being good at.
I'd have thought they'd realise the risks of screaming "We're American!" in England these days after the Iraq War, Rendition, that American guy who racked up thousands and thousands of pounds in unpaid parking fines, etc. Apparently they are still free to go around wherever they like and display the single greatest redeeming feature man has ever known : Being American.
Yesterday, I was asked on XBL if I wished I was American. With the possible exception of Zimbabwe because Mugabe is possibly even more unhinged than I-Need-Stabilisers-To-Ride-A-Bike George Bush, I couldn't actually think of a country I would LESS like to live in. I wouldn't be proud of-
Cancel that, I'm not going to list the reasons I wouldn't be proud to live in America. I'm going to save that for next week's 7-part-postathon, once I work out how to narrow down the broad title of "Why the USA sucks" to only 7 posts.
Once I'd cleaned all the involuntary puke off it, I managed to give it a proper look. Some wonderfully endeering yankee with a stars-and-stripes hat and bow tie, along with the clown make-up grinned at you from the front. Off to one side they modestly declared they were "The Greatest Circus on Earth TM"
How typically American. They've got to be the best at everything otherwise that thing just isn't worth being good at.
I'd have thought they'd realise the risks of screaming "We're American!" in England these days after the Iraq War, Rendition, that American guy who racked up thousands and thousands of pounds in unpaid parking fines, etc. Apparently they are still free to go around wherever they like and display the single greatest redeeming feature man has ever known : Being American.
Yesterday, I was asked on XBL if I wished I was American. With the possible exception of Zimbabwe because Mugabe is possibly even more unhinged than I-Need-Stabilisers-To-Ride-A-Bike George Bush, I couldn't actually think of a country I would LESS like to live in. I wouldn't be proud of-
Cancel that, I'm not going to list the reasons I wouldn't be proud to live in America. I'm going to save that for next week's 7-part-postathon, once I work out how to narrow down the broad title of "Why the USA sucks" to only 7 posts.
posted by Mkzrj at 8:44 pm
9 Comments:
america isnt that bad. jazz, blues, indie cinema, mtv, trainers, n.b.a, nwa, rap music, punk pop, b.e.t., simpsons etc etc etc
america rules we beat u at everyfin lollollollollollollollol
Yes. Yes you do. You totally own us at killing innocents, polluting the environment, being corrupt, being racist and xenophobic, wasting money, starting pointless wars, and the like.
Oh, I forgot a few. You also beat us when it comes to rigging elections, persecuting minorities, assassinating people and negatively influencing the development of other countries.
Also, you are better than us at torturing people, breaking the law regularly, spending obscene amounts on your military budget, decieving most of your nation, and living in a Big Brother state.
I think what I posted on Newgrounds pretty much sums it all up aswell, although I wont post that here, because it dwarfs one of your blog entries and thats not nice, instead -
you pwn us at lack of geographical knowledge, using electricity, coming up with stupid laws and insulting everyone else.
Yes I heard about the cheating. The American football team (that's actual football not America's shitty imitation) only plays teams worse than itself, therefore wins and moves up the rankings. They also claim that they did better against us at the 2002 World Cup, but then we played Brazil and were in the "Group of Death".
And what exactly is "aluminum"? THAT'S NOT A METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to be fair...
...not all americans are that bad...
...although the whole linguistic/syntactical/grammatical/spelling murder isn't nice...
...and the use of the "word" "lollollollollollollollol" is simply inexcusable.
drown, bastard. (anonymous, that is.)
that was me. i keep forgetting to type my name in.
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