Adverts
"There are a lot of little problems in life. Now, diarrhoea doesn't have to be one of them."
I saw this catchy headline on an advert yesterday on Channel 4, somewhere in the middle of Lost. It was said in such a calm and composed voice. What made it even better was that while this charming voice-over played, we were greeted with a business woman walking down the street. On the beat of the word "diarrhoea" she stopped and suddenly looked distressed, as if expecting something wildly unpleasant to happen. But then she remembered the wonders of Generic-Shitriver-Cure #65 and continued on her way, composed and confident she wouldn't soil herself at that all-important board meeting.
ARGH. How annoying. I've seen adverts like that way too many times, and always for mildly dubious and body-function-related products. The product always saves the main character just in the nick of time. I hear from a "reliable" DJ source of mine that on average we are subjected to 1000 adverts a day, whether on TV, in magazines, outside, or the wonderful thing we call product placement. Why can't they just make a channel specially for adverts? If you want to watch the program, you watch the program. If you're wondering what worthless consumer item you should buy today, watch the advert channel. It would save a lot of time.
Also, I wish adverts didn't follow the same pattern of "everyone uses our product." These days adverts are often a paranoma of people of different ages, skin colours, sexes, religions, etc, all using the same product. So cliched it makes me want to hurl.
I saw this catchy headline on an advert yesterday on Channel 4, somewhere in the middle of Lost. It was said in such a calm and composed voice. What made it even better was that while this charming voice-over played, we were greeted with a business woman walking down the street. On the beat of the word "diarrhoea" she stopped and suddenly looked distressed, as if expecting something wildly unpleasant to happen. But then she remembered the wonders of Generic-Shitriver-Cure #65 and continued on her way, composed and confident she wouldn't soil herself at that all-important board meeting.
ARGH. How annoying. I've seen adverts like that way too many times, and always for mildly dubious and body-function-related products. The product always saves the main character just in the nick of time. I hear from a "reliable" DJ source of mine that on average we are subjected to 1000 adverts a day, whether on TV, in magazines, outside, or the wonderful thing we call product placement. Why can't they just make a channel specially for adverts? If you want to watch the program, you watch the program. If you're wondering what worthless consumer item you should buy today, watch the advert channel. It would save a lot of time.
Also, I wish adverts didn't follow the same pattern of "everyone uses our product." These days adverts are often a paranoma of people of different ages, skin colours, sexes, religions, etc, all using the same product. So cliched it makes me want to hurl.
posted by Mkzrj at 12:18 pm
3 Comments:
Watch Shoutcast TV if you want no adverts. I commonly regard solid hours of uninterrupted simpsons, family guy and socialist tv on there. Personally, I enjoy the advertisements on the "layman's televisual set", as they are interesting and oft moronic.
And I am more reliable than you think. Did you know the standard golf ball has exactly 360 dimples?
Chainz
No. No I did not.
The worst advert by far is for "Bez's Madchester Anthems", involving a clearly stoned Bez.
Although, having said that, I just saw a worse one for Frosties. A twat of a young boy sings about Frosties eg:
"They're gonna taste great, they're gonna taste great....."
The song involves rhyming "great" and "mate" with "pi-rate" and such wonderful rhythms as "and per-son-a-lised number pla-tes" See this advert. It will rock your world.
Post a Comment
<< Home