Saturday, June 23, 2007

Chetz

Celebrities Consider: The Entertainment Industry

Bruce Willis on The Entertainment Industry

Well, as you will know I've been branching out lately, away from the action hero role. It was a nice break from killing the scum of the world (Arabs, Germans and Arabs and Germans played by Brits), however, I'll be returning home soon for the action packed spectacular that is Live Free, Die Hard - or Die Hard 4.0, for the MySpace Intarweb Generation. Critics accuse it of having a blindly patriotic name, that wont appeal to people outside the US. Screw them. They can take their low-tech trash elsewhere while my guns and bald head crush all.
And besides, have you seen the trailer? I dodge a taxi - flying at my head! Yeah, take that England and your stupid Alan Rickman.



Gillian McKeith on The Entertainment Industry

The Entertainment Industry is evil, it's been feeding the world the idea of obesity. All these films where the star takes a bite of a burger without looking at the nutrional value or ingredients. Do they know how much fat they are taking in? It sets a terrible example to the youth. No wonder they suck so much. Sitting there at home, surfing the net- such a cess pool. Mind you, I did get my degree from there, so its not all bad I guess. So it clearly can recognise talent when it finds it.
Watch "You Are What You Eat."



Disgruntled Alien on The Entertainment Industry

WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *wails* What did we do? All you ever do is kill us. TV, Games, Film, you hate us. We're NICE aliens. Why do you think we always want to take over your galaxy - five galaxies is enough! Sure, we wiped out all the races in those, but... they had it coming. They were... odd. Wrong. Yes, wrong. And besides, Independence Day. They zapped the White House. SURELY they were doing you a favour. And you repay them by blowing up their ship. How many millions of lives did you kill by doing that. You sick, sick people. Mass murdering freaks, get away from me!
And then of course Rowan. The horrid man wants to convert us to his religion. Why can you not content yourself with Earth? You are the true monsters! Your media simply confirms it. We'll have to destroy you, for your own good. Like in the recent Doctor Who with the orbs and whatnot.



Rowan Williams on The Entertainment Industry

The current state of depravation prevalent in modern society is directly proportional to the decreasing moral responsiblity accepted by the information presentation mediums of today. Rupert Murdoch is somewhat culpable, endowing these phillistines with the economic aid requisite to producing such crap. It's also with a deep heart and in a saddened society that I comment on the lack of religious content present in the "media". While glorious scripture remains dominated by our illustrious Bible, the same cannot be said of the entertainment industry. We need more Thought for the Day. It should last all day, everyday. And when I finally contruct my Intergalatic Church TM, I will be able to broadcast it straight into your minds! Mwa ha ha ha!



Hilary Clinton on The Entertainment Industry

Hilary for 2008. How could I get that message across without the wonders of the internet, TV, film, radio and other such stuff? Of course though, it is responsible for all gun crime. It brainwashes our kids into mindless killers, thirstly for the blood of innocents. Why else would gun crime be so excessive, and be on the increase in the Semi-autonomous state of England, where our media is filtering through and dirtying their traditional values with the filth of American society. This country sucks ass, and if you want the USA to change, you have to vote for me, you worthless incompetents. My husband may have been a blundering fool, but let me assure you, I'll lead with an iron fist, crushing all those who... I'll be nice. Games, however, must be banned, before they cause society to stagnate and collapse into a pile of violent prostitute murderers and random Gratuitous Violence Bonuses. Or possibly Boni.

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In other news, the blog will speed up once summer begins and I'm no longer quite so concerned by schoolio work. There will be a film-related one later in the week, in addition to possibly another Doctor Who paroby. We'll see.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderfully funny.



If not slightly late.
*accusing glare*

10:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha :D

10:22 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

certainly quite a good one.
congratulations on that.

"trvxkxzu"

11:28 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alan Rickman is not stupid :(
You are... probably.. and besides, the villain in LVoDH will never ever be compared to Hans Gruber.

But if the part about Rickman is intended to be a joke, then i apologize.

Marlina.

2:24 am  
Blogger Mkzrj said...

Thanks for the compliment, but last time I looked stupid people weren't allowed into Mensa. Since I am British, I think it unlikely I would be insulting both myself and one of our finest actors were it NOT a joke.

10:27 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

English is not my first language.. So, sometimes it can be quite difficult for me to separate which one is a joke and which one is not.
Still working on it though..
Once again, i'm sorry :)

4:35 am  
Blogger Mkzrj said...

Ah, well, you can rest assured that pretty much ANYTHING on this blog is a joke.

4:24 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh Alan Rickman...the only actor who could possibly make lines like "I'll cut your heart out..with a spoon!!" sound good.

Gillian McKeith is, as we say in the business, a retard.

8:58 pm  
Blogger Mkzrj said...

So true.
And marlina, no problem. But yeah, nothing here is serious. Unless there's some kind of big "THIS IS SERIOUS" banner atop.

9:03 pm  

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