Scam

I recently made a rather good attempt at luring a scammer. At first I tried to persuade someone from the "National Chinese Pearl Mine" that I wanted to buy into their business but didn't understand how. They didn't even mention oysters - perhaps it was lost in translation. Regardless, that particular ropey customer never replied to my advances and so I lost the opporunity to increase my riches even further. On my second try I tried to claim my winnings of the "NL Internet Lottery." This had a little more success, but I never recieved another reply. Perhaps mentioning the lack of human invention put off these parasites.


First email to me :

CONTACT:FOR YOUR PRIZE YOU WON YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS WON THE LOTTERY.

REF Number: ICB/231-ILGI0431/06 Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice, the results of the Second Category draws of THE LOTTO NL PROMO INT. We are happy to inform you that you have emerged a winner under the First Category, which is part of our promotional draws. The draws are being officially announced today 31st of AUG 2006.

Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 2,500,000 email addresses of individuals and companies from Africa, America, Asia, Australia, Europe, Middle East, and Oceania as part of our International Promotions Program. Your e-mail address, attached to ticket number 20511465463-7655, with serial number 472-9768-79 drew the lucky numbers 8-66-97-22-65-55 and consequently won in the First Category. You have therefore been awarded a lump sum pay out of $1,000,000,00 (One Million Dollars), which is the winning payout for Category A winners. This is from a total cash prize of $10,000,000.00 (Ten Million Dollars) shared amongst the first Ten (10) lucky winners in this category CONGRATULATIONS ! ! !

Your fund is now deposited with the paying Bank.In your best interest to avoid mix up of numbers and names of any kind, we request that you keep the entire details of your award strictly from public notice until the process of transferring your claims has been completed, and your funds remitted to your account. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants/nonparticipants of this program.Please contact your claim agent officer (International Remittance Dept)immediately for due processingand remittance of your prize money to a designated account of your choice:

NOTE: For easy reference and identification, find below your Reference and Batch numbers. Remember to quote these numbers in your correspondence with claims agent

REF Number: ICB/231-ILGI0431/06
BATCH No: EOS/15/096/TVFS
TICKET No:20511465463-7655
SERIAL No:472-9768-79
LUCKY No:8-66-97-22-65-55 To claim your funds, please contact your claim officer . Contact person: Mr. M. de Bruijne. (International Remittance Department). E-mail: Moron@scammer.com Tel:+31-649-304-315 Fax:+31-847-539-161


Well, that seemed rather good. My first reply :

Hello!

I am using this side E-Mail address to contact you because I do not want the wife to know about this - she is a little too greedy with money I am thinking! I am most interested in the opportunity you propose and I would be interested in hearing more. My name is Gustav Narerl and I am a businessman. Engelish isn't not my first language so I am apologising for any errors. My mother says it is good, but I sometimes I think she is being too kind. I specialise in Endoscopy Equipments and this has made me very much rich. But it is a very foolish man who ignores a chance for ever greater riches, no? The Inter-net is such a wonderful thing to be making this possible.

Please to be informing me what I am needing to do to claim this impressive sum of money you are so kindly offering me. However, I recently had a bad experience with a similar offer to the one you have just given me. This unkind person was running off with all my money and I could do nothing about it. Nevertheless, I sense there is something very trustworthy about you and your story is ringing true with me. I am being grateful that you have chosen me for this and would like some way to repay you.

Please get back to me on this address with more details of what you are require for the transaction to occur. Here are the details you sent :

REF Number: ICB/231-ILGI0431/06

BATCH No:

EOS/15/096/TVFS

TICKET No:20511465463-7655

SERIAL No:472-9768-79

LUCKY

No:8-66-97-22-65-55

Please be getting back to me soon with details of how I can collect my winnings!

Gustav Narerl

This drew a tedious reply, which is far too dull to post here. Basically, fill in these (possibly spyware filled) forms, send them back, let us raid your bank account.
My second reply :
(The start is the same as the first one because this was to a different person, and I didn't want to waste what I'd written!)

Hello!

My name is Gustav Narerl and I am a businessman. Engelish isn't not my first language so I am apologising for any errors. My mother says it is good, but I sometimes I think she is being too kind. I specialise in Endoscopy Equipments and this has made me very much rich. But it is a very foolish man who ignores a chance for ever greater riches, no? The Inter-net is such a wonderful thing to be making this possible.

I have been told that you are my legal representative on this most important matter - are you a real lawyer like in "Martial Law", that programme on the Tele-Vision about a lawyer who does martial arts? If you too do martial arts, all the better.

Anyway, since Engelish is not my first language I am not sure what you require me to do to get these riches. Please help me understand what you need from me so my money can be deposited.

Gustav Narerl

This drew one final automated reply, and I was fed-up with talking to machines so I sent :

Hello!

I am thinking this is an automated reply. I am wanting to talk to an actual human being, not a machine like in that film "2001 - A Space Odyssey". That was a scary film but I missed the ending. Does it contain more apes?

You say I need to fill in a CLAIM FORM but I do not know where to find such a device. And what would I need to fill in? Surely my numbers I sent you are proof enough that I am the winner! I want to add to my wealth in the bank already!

Please get back to me with details of where I can find the CLAIM APPLICATION FORM!!1

Gustav Narerl

Alas, no reply since. Their loss I think.